Common Mistakes Boy Moms Make...part 2

This is another mistake I think moms of boys make...sometimes without realizing it. Or at least without realizing the complications of reacting by our feelings alone and not thinking through what we are actually doing. It's this:
Lack of respect for your husband in relation to child rearing issues.

Obviously this issue can speak to other issues in the marriage if it's a pattern of disrespect in the marriage but sometimes it's just because a mom thinks she loves her son so much so she does a better job of parenting him and isn't thinking about everything else clearly.

Example: Your husband decides to help your son get over his fear of going down the big slide at the park or riding his bike without training wheels or swimming in the deep end of the pool. Your son is scared so he starts screaming and crying. You....what? Ok, let's see the options clearly. 1. Freak out and scream at your husband and force him to stop. You're scared too! Sound reasonable? Well, you just taught your son that his dad's an idiot and even though he's only a child, he knows what's best for himself. And that if he screams loud enough, you'll rescue him so he doesn't ever need to be brave or test boundaries or try hard or even trust his dad. (This is evidenced by your kids running to you for protection from their own dad) You also taught your husband that you don't trust him, think he is capable of harming his own son and are willing to publically humiliate him to get that point across. Bummer. The problem is you didn't MEAN to do all that...but you did it anyway. Option #2 Trust that your husband loves your son, will protect him and knows better than you how to teach a little boy not to be afraid of something since he was once a little boy, too.

Example: Do you stop your husband from smacking the chubby little hand reaching for the oven, freak out if he wants to spank your little guy for drawing all over the wall AGAIN, are you crushed when your son is crying for an ice cream but daddy says "NO"? This mistake will be very easy to make if you care more about your son's happiness than his holiness. (read about that here)

There are MANY more scenarios like these. In fact, you're probably regretting something specific right now. I know I am! So, consider wisely every time you want to rebuke your husband for how he is handling his kids-ESPECIALLY in front of them! Boys generally grow up to identify themselves with, love and respect their father, no matter how he treated them! And they will resent the mom who treated their dad like a shrew-even if she did it out of love and concern for her son. Carefully think through your actions in this area. The repercussions are far reaching and can even destroy marriages and mother/son relationships.

And since I don't know everyone who reads this, PLEASE know that I'm not saying to put up with any type of emotional or physical abuse in anyway! Get help. That is nothing to respect and you absolutely need to protect your children from their father in that case!