Ava

A couple days after we found out I was pregnant Jesse had a wedding to officiate in Friday Harbor in the San Juan Islands. While we were there I went for a little walk to a spot on a cliff overlooking the ocean to pray. I was feeling overwhelmed with the pregnancy in general and the desire to have a daughter in particular. I didn't want to spend the next several months anxious over the sex of the baby. I prayed and asked God to give me peace, one way or another. I asked Him to give me a sign if I was having a girl. The sky was empty except for the sun-they weren't even clouds. I asked God to send a bird if I was to have a daughter. To have a bird fly overhead-out of no where. I scanned the horizon. Nothing. Five seconds later, a tiny bird flew up from the side of the cliff right by me. I laughed. I don't normally do this type of thing and thought I was just being silly. A few seconds later a flock of birds surged up from the other side of the cliff. Too many to count. I felt they were a gift to me. I felt peace. God knew my desires, He loved me, I could trust Him. Whatever He had for me.

I wish I had continued to trust in God's goodness to me that day. But I didn't. In the months that followed I would sometimes grow anxious. I still wondered and desired and doubted and hoped. Almost every time, I would see a little bird and be reminded of that day on the cliff. And I would feel peace.

A few weeks ago we were discussing names for the baby. We've always liked Savannah but as we talked about it, it seemed not right somehow. I thought of the name Ava. It was similar sounding but...it just jumped out at me that night. Jesse loved it. I went to look up the meaning and then I knew it was to be our daughter's name.

It means "like a bird".