Can I do a year of blogs?

I haven't written in awhile. I want to. But I just...can't. I have the raising boys series hanging over my head and I've been so overwhelmed that it seems ludicrous to be writing to others about how to raise their own kids!
But I want to write more. It would be a good outlet for me and I need an outlet. Well, one that doesn’t cost money anyway.
I just read Julie and Julia and I wanted a project, too. I don’t want to cook everyday for a year though. But what about writing. Everyday. For a year. I like it. I can do it.
So I sit down during my first bit of free time this morning and I'm already exhausted from the past hour! I want to write something big, important, meaningful. I want to change your life and mine. But my mind is blank, I am still in my pj’s. And I have a cup of hot tea I want to drink. I need to clean the house. Take a shower. Do laundry. Check Facebook. I can't write right now! Plus, SpongeBob is blaring in one ear and Lucas is alternating between sucking his thumb on the couch next to me and swan diving onto my head. As I type. My life is funny, I think. You’d laugh at my life, and we all need to laugh right? So…instead of something amazing, I’m going to give you a glimpse into my life. Well, a glimpse into the last 2 hours of my morning...

6am=I wake up. No one is crying! Yes! I can read my Bible. I'd go make tea but I'm scared to wake up any little people so I stay put. Jesse is snoring so loud! I push him a little and he kind of rolls over. Not really peaceful but it works. Proverbs 12 and Mark 10. I'm encouraged. And convicted. “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” I read. Hmmm. Uh-oh. "Lord, help me not be a fool!" I pray. I pray some more and then I hear them. All FOUR! At once. Ok, let's go!

6:39am=I weigh myself. Guess those wontons last night were a BAD idea…And that’s all I have to say about that.

6:40am=I’m bottle feeding Ava while Lucas is screaming for "milk too!" as he pushes a plastic bowl on my foot. I think he's trying to put my foot in the bowl but it actually hurts! "STOP IT!!!" I scream and throw the bowl, totally annoyed. He looks at me, wounded and then smiles. Oops, guess I already blew it. I'm thinking about this as I hear something I'm blocking out. Oh, it's Lucas SCREAMING. He's screaming MOM! and it makes Ava cry. This makes the boys laugh, who all this time are playing video games about an inch away from me. At least they're dressed for school. "Knox, get your brother some milk. “Caleb, put lunch pails in backpacks." They grumble about some level they were almost to but obey as I change Lucas’ and Ava's diapers. Lucas doesn't want to wear his pj's anymore so now he's only in his diaper. Whatever.

7:10am= Ava is playing happily in her saucer while I make the boys breakfast. Scrambled eggs and cereal bars from Trader Joe’s since it’s almost time to leave to take the boys to school. “Mom, did you make D.J. a lunch too?” D.J. is a boy in one of my son’s classes who my son noticed rarely has a lunch. It disturbed his little heart so much he couldn’t stop crying over it one night. So, I’ve made him a lunch since then. I’m grateful for my son's sweet heart and start thinking about how I should write the boy blog after all when he begins screeching in his sister’s face, “hi baby, hiiiiii baaaaabeeeee!”. I smack him on the head as he laughs. Maybe not.

7:25am= Ava is crying, Lucas is crying for more food and I’m making sure the big boys are ready for school because they will be late if we don’t leave in 5 minutes. Thankfully, Jesse is still here so I can leave Lucas and Ava with him! “Brush your teeth, brush your hair, get your backpacks and shoes on, get your scooters and helmets, let’s gooooo!” I sound like that annoying mom song. That sucks. And I am vaguely aware of the fact that I’m hungry (I despise eggs so I haven’t eaten) and I would love a hot cup of tea.

7:30am= I go start the car with one son already in the front seat and one comes trailing out of the house. Hair unbrushed with a milk moustache. “Go brush your hair! And brush your teeth! (“I did brush my teeth!”) “Then wash your face!” My other son starts to laugh and I see food all in his teeth. Yuck! “You go brush your teeth too!” “I did!” I flip down the mirror and tell him to look. I think even he’s grossed out as he scurries back in the house. As I’m sitting there my mind flashes to them in junior high and I smile to myself thinking I won’t have to worry about girl nonsense if they keep up this hygiene plan…

7:34am= We’re off! I’m driving them to school in pj’s with flip flops and a sweater over it. No time for make-up or hair brushing for me. Ewww. I’m scary. I’m halfway there (its 2 blocks away) when I notice my son in the back seat is actually just sitting in Lucas’ car seat. No seat belt. I’m not proud of this but I let him stay in it since I decide its safer than moving while I'm driving. He has a helmet on though. Yeah, I’m not sure why either. Talk turns to Christmas presents and I ask if we should get Lucas a scooter or a trike. “Get him lipstick!” one son says, and giggles. I giggle too. It was funny. We pull up to the car line and of course there is someone to open the doors since I look crazy and my car is dirty and my son is sitting in a car seat. Oh well. “Schools not that hard that you have to wear a helmet, is it?” he jokes. I give a courtesy laugh; tell my sons “Bye. I love you!” and drive home to write this blog.

8am=I'm writing and right now Lucas has successfully wedged himself onto my chair, between my butt and the chair back and is screaming "Bob-Bob" excitedly. Oh, and burping. But I finally drank that tea!

See you tomorrow! :)

Overwhelmed and Excited

This will have to be quick since I hear Ava girl fussing on the monitor but it's been way too long without a blog post. And the raising boy series is hanging over my head, too! But I just got Internet LAST NIGHT so it will have to wait. Maybe till the boys go back to school? It's already less than a month away though-August 20th is the 1st day of school! WHAT?!?!? Seems too early....
Ok, I'm in San Diego. Officially have my new address but chickened out about getting a new SD cell # today. (Seemed like too much work to give it to everyone right now! haha!)
Well, I love it here. It's hot and sunny (duh!) but it feels like home already. I'm excited about the community we're already building and new friends seem like old ones in some ways already. My boys all have friends already too-church friends and neighbor friends! What a blessing! School friends and sports friends will come soon. Even Ava seems to love it here except that her room is the hottest in the house! Jesse preaches at Kaleo this Sunday and although last Sunday was my first time, it felt like I fit right in. I even signed up for the women's retreat and am totally excited about it already.
I miss my family and friends in WA, of course. But I feel overwhelmed and excited about this HUGE new adventure and feel totally blessed that we are able to start a whole new life!
Hugs to my girlies! And I'll be back later....

Good Bye

Saying good bye is hard. I know that I will never again see many of the fabulous people I have grown to love over this past decade in WA. I wish I could write personal good byes to everyone but I don't have the time!
So....to my girlies: You know who you are! :) Thank you for the laughs, tears, hugs, COACH bags, meals, baby gifts, nights out, encouragement, and love. I have learned so much from you all and even though I don't really have friends in SD yet, I didn't have you 10 years ago so that gives me hope! You are fabulous and I will miss you (and your families!) so much!
To my Vine girlies...thanks for your blood, sweat and tears! Many of you have ministered along side Jesse and I for years and those memories are priceless! And I'm still sorry about the exterior paint color. Who knew?!
Please keep "flourish-ing"!:)
To Mars Hill...What an awesome church! Fabulous teaching, community, families, ministries, opportunities-the BEST church in Washington!!! I love Mars hillians!!
To my WA friends, neighbors, blog readers, etc: Thanks! I have loved living here (except for the winters! heehee) for the past decade. I became a mommy 4 times over here and that is very special to me! Lots of firsts here-too many to count. but some highlights/lowlights: first house we bought, first time living without power for a week, first ferry ride, first teeth lost, first birthday parties, first soccer/basketball/t-ball/football games, first time eating terriyaki chicken, first time watching my husband get punched in the face, the first time I ever truly loved a church!

So...goodbye WA. It's been great.

But hello San Diego!

Girly Moms Raising Masculine Boys

Lately I have been getting a lot of compliments on my sons' behaviour-particularly the older two. I've even been asked for advice and encouragement on a mom's role in raising masculine boys. I'm so thankful and flattered that people see my sons as something to emulate so I wanted to share a few things that have really helped me in raising my sons.
First, nothing is new under the sun, right? I didn't come up with or invent any new parenting philosophy. I read a ton, listened to a ton of great sermons and most importantly have a fabulous husband who is an amazing dad. And no one is perfect, least of all me! But I've been raising boys for a decade and God has blessed me with three sons so hopefully my HARD learned lessons will help someone else!

So...raising boys. Too broad so I've divided it up into a few topics to overview. And I'm going to focus on raising boys from infancy to adolescents since that's all I've experienced so far! ;)

First of all, moms need to understand the importance of their femininity in shaping the masculinity of their sons but I already addressed this on another blog last year. (Look it up! haha! Actually, maybe I'll post it again?!?!?)

Here are the rest of the topics I want to address in my little series:

I. You are Raising a Future Man NOT a Baby Boy

II. A Boy's Behavior= Boyishness vs. Childishness vs. Foolishness (what to embrace, what to train, what to discipline)

III. Teaching Chivalry and Respect

IV. Common Mistakes Boy Moms Make

Okay, stay tuned. Part I. is coming soon...

Medication part 2

I wanted to address some comments and emails I got regarding my last blog. First, I'm so flattered people read this and take the time to give me feedback. Crazy. I just thought some of my friends read it. And probably just occasionally. HA!

But I wanted to address those who commented or contacted me thinking I was saying Christians shouldn't take anti-depressants. Or that it is wrong to do so. I won't reiterate my whole post BUT I just wanted to re-state that I think there is definitely a time for people to take medication. It's helpful, necessary and a gift from God. BUT....it is handed out like candy in the U.S. and sometimes it is NOT necessary or beneficial. I agree with a comment on my last post that doctors are wise and should know what we "need". But like I experienced, doctors were willing to medicate my depression instead of finding out WHY it was there. And I'm not alone in experiencing that which is why I wrote the blog.

So, bottom line that I hoped to convey...If you are depressed, prayerfully asses WHY? Is it physical, spiritual or emotional? Or a combination of those? If so, treat the cause and if it's physical/mental and medication is needed, take it! And if it's not, seek out the appropriate treatment because depression is NOT just due to needing anti-depressants. There are many causes and treatments and we need to be wise and discerning to figure out what is best for YOURSELF!

Blessings to you all!

Medication for depression

Recently someone asked me my thoughts on anti-depressants. Interesting timing for me since I've had a really hard few weeks and was thinking some pills might be nice! Something to "take the edge off"...Well, I was reminded of the response I wrote to someone last year asking the same question. As I re-read my answer, I thought I should share it here. So many of my friends are having babies and those hormone changes are enough to warrant a Costco sized bottle of Zanex! Trust me-I was there yesterday. But I hope this post will be encouraging or helpful for women going through a tough time right now and feeling like Christ isn't enough or isn't sustaining them.

So here's my response to "Should a Christian take anti-depressants?" :

Great question.
I want to preface my response by saying that I believe everything that comes into a believer’s life is from the hand of God. Romans 8:38 says “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” So I would say that the depression they are experiencing is actually coming from the loving hand God and before they medicate it to make it go away they should figure out why it is there and what is causing it.

1. Emotional/circumstantial= a horrible situation caused by sin or death This is an awful time but even these situations do not separate us from God so He is there, NOT powerless to stop it, but there. The Bible says there is a time to grieve. Grieving is normal and healthy and God can get us through that time. I’m not talking about a one time medication to help someone over an extremely shocking event but to go on medication rather than deal with emotions that God created to help us heal would be foolish in my opinion.
Maybe the depression is a “gift” to help us stop sinning or receive help to overcome the sin of another. An example would be feeling depressed about a bad marriage might lead you into counseling and save it! Or depressed about your weight might lead you to get healthy and change it! Or being molested or abused and getting depressed could be the thing that motivates us to receive counseling. Basically-if we felt good and happy, would we deal with the underlying issue that is causing the depression? Probably not.

2. Spiritual depression=a trial or an attack. This also can be a gift from god to cause us to seek Him, grow closer to him and glorify His name. many great Christians have struggled with depression, their whole lives, without being medicated. Luther and Spurgeon are two that come to mind. I think we are too quick to look at suffering as a negative thing that must be stopped and avoided but Romans 5:3-4 says, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope”. So to medicate the feelings that will produce hope is not wise in my opinion.

3. Physical depression=caused by our bodies not functioning properly and affecting our emotions. Our hormones, food intake, exercise frequency, vitamins, minerals, etc. play a huge part in regulating our moods. I was told twice in one year to take anti-depressants to stop feeling “crazy” rather than being told why I felt that way and how to fix it. So sad!! On one week of all my new supplements I feel normal again. My body was so depleted my ND said I probably wasn’t able to produce serotonin! My body was/is a mess and taking anti-depressants would have totally WORSENED things! My depression was a gift from God to motivate me to get tested before my health worsened and I became really sick! To have medicated my symptoms would have been disastrous. (Edited to add that since then I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and a tumor was found on my thyroid gland. Had I medicated the symptoms, I could be much sicker today!)

4. A true chemical imbalance= I think God created people with true inabilities to function normally without medication. I have known several and they still struggle with depression/anxiety even while medicated but the medication allows them to be sane-literally. I know one pastor family with a Bipolar daughter and without medication she is insane. But with it, she is normal and struggles and has to still rely on Christ for strength everyday.

So, these are my quick thoughts on the matter. I could probably write for pages but it’s already too long probably! Anyway, I agree with Paul, “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything.”

So…to me, it’s a conscience issue but I think some people make very foolish decisions in this area that cause them to ultimately trust in something other than God.

My Daughter part 2

Okay, so after re-reading my last blog, I realized that there has been a one major difference having Ava has made. Since I always wanted a daughter and girly, pink things and girl toys, and a girl room, etc. sometimes "boy stuff" got old for me. The clothes, the toys, the masculine energy. Maybe because I desired the opposite, I began to take for granted how amazing my boys are and how special having sons is! But now, that desire has been granted and I'm more able to clearly appreciate how awesome my boys are. Shopping for their clothes is more fun, their toys are actually really cool to play with again but most of all, their masculine energy is a blessing to me! They are strong, brave, helpful. I couldn't love them anymore than I already did but I think having a daughter has helped me to appreciate them more and that is an added blessing I wasn't expecting!