Saturday, June 27, 2009

Good Bye

Saying good bye is hard. I know that I will never again see many of the fabulous people I have grown to love over this past decade in WA. I wish I could write personal good byes to everyone but I don't have the time!
So....to my girlies: You know who you are! :) Thank you for the laughs, tears, hugs, COACH bags, meals, baby gifts, nights out, encouragement, and love. I have learned so much from you all and even though I don't really have friends in SD yet, I didn't have you 10 years ago so that gives me hope! You are fabulous and I will miss you (and your families!) so much!
To my Vine girlies...thanks for your blood, sweat and tears! Many of you have ministered along side Jesse and I for years and those memories are priceless! And I'm still sorry about the exterior paint color. Who knew?!
Please keep "flourish-ing"!:)
To Mars Hill...What an awesome church! Fabulous teaching, community, families, ministries, opportunities-the BEST church in Washington!!! I love Mars hillians!!
To my WA friends, neighbors, blog readers, etc: Thanks! I have loved living here (except for the winters! heehee) for the past decade. I became a mommy 4 times over here and that is very special to me! Lots of firsts here-too many to count. but some highlights/lowlights: first house we bought, first time living without power for a week, first ferry ride, first teeth lost, first birthday parties, first soccer/basketball/t-ball/football games, first time eating terriyaki chicken, first time watching my husband get punched in the face, the first time I ever truly loved a church!

So...goodbye WA. It's been great.

But hello San Diego!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Girly Moms Raising Masculine Boys

Lately I have been getting a lot of compliments on my sons' behaviour-particularly the older two. I've even been asked for advice and encouragement on a mom's role in raising masculine boys. I'm so thankful and flattered that people see my sons as something to emulate so I wanted to share a few things that have really helped me in raising my sons.
First, nothing is new under the sun, right? I didn't come up with or invent any new parenting philosophy. I read a ton, listened to a ton of great sermons and most importantly have a fabulous husband who is an amazing dad. And no one is perfect, least of all me! But I've been raising boys for a decade and God has blessed me with three sons so hopefully my HARD learned lessons will help someone else!

So...raising boys. Too broad so I've divided it up into a few topics to overview. And I'm going to focus on raising boys from infancy to adolescents since that's all I've experienced so far! ;)

First of all, moms need to understand the importance of their femininity in shaping the masculinity of their sons but I already addressed this on another blog last year. (Look it up! haha! Actually, maybe I'll post it again?!?!?)

Here are the rest of the topics I want to address in my little series:

I. You are Raising a Future Man NOT a Baby Boy

II. A Boy's Behavior= Boyishness vs. Childishness vs. Foolishness (what to embrace, what to train, what to discipline)

III. Teaching Chivalry and Respect

IV. Common Mistakes Boy Moms Make

Okay, stay tuned. Part I. is coming soon...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Medication part 2

I wanted to address some comments and emails I got regarding my last blog. First, I'm so flattered people read this and take the time to give me feedback. Crazy. I just thought some of my friends read it. And probably just occasionally. HA!

But I wanted to address those who commented or contacted me thinking I was saying Christians shouldn't take anti-depressants. Or that it is wrong to do so. I won't reiterate my whole post BUT I just wanted to re-state that I think there is definitely a time for people to take medication. It's helpful, necessary and a gift from God. BUT....it is handed out like candy in the U.S. and sometimes it is NOT necessary or beneficial. I agree with a comment on my last post that doctors are wise and should know what we "need". But like I experienced, doctors were willing to medicate my depression instead of finding out WHY it was there. And I'm not alone in experiencing that which is why I wrote the blog.

So, bottom line that I hoped to convey...If you are depressed, prayerfully asses WHY? Is it physical, spiritual or emotional? Or a combination of those? If so, treat the cause and if it's physical/mental and medication is needed, take it! And if it's not, seek out the appropriate treatment because depression is NOT just due to needing anti-depressants. There are many causes and treatments and we need to be wise and discerning to figure out what is best for YOURSELF!

Blessings to you all!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Medication for depression

Recently someone asked me my thoughts on anti-depressants. Interesting timing for me since I've had a really hard few weeks and was thinking some pills might be nice! Something to "take the edge off"...Well, I was reminded of the response I wrote to someone last year asking the same question. As I re-read my answer, I thought I should share it here. So many of my friends are having babies and those hormone changes are enough to warrant a Costco sized bottle of Zanex! Trust me-I was there yesterday. But I hope this post will be encouraging or helpful for women going through a tough time right now and feeling like Christ isn't enough or isn't sustaining them.

So here's my response to "Should a Christian take anti-depressants?" :

Great question.
I want to preface my response by saying that I believe everything that comes into a believer’s life is from the hand of God. Romans 8:38 says “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” So I would say that the depression they are experiencing is actually coming from the loving hand God and before they medicate it to make it go away they should figure out why it is there and what is causing it.

1. Emotional/circumstantial= a horrible situation caused by sin or death This is an awful time but even these situations do not separate us from God so He is there, NOT powerless to stop it, but there. The Bible says there is a time to grieve. Grieving is normal and healthy and God can get us through that time. I’m not talking about a one time medication to help someone over an extremely shocking event but to go on medication rather than deal with emotions that God created to help us heal would be foolish in my opinion.
Maybe the depression is a “gift” to help us stop sinning or receive help to overcome the sin of another. An example would be feeling depressed about a bad marriage might lead you into counseling and save it! Or depressed about your weight might lead you to get healthy and change it! Or being molested or abused and getting depressed could be the thing that motivates us to receive counseling. Basically-if we felt good and happy, would we deal with the underlying issue that is causing the depression? Probably not.

2. Spiritual depression=a trial or an attack. This also can be a gift from god to cause us to seek Him, grow closer to him and glorify His name. many great Christians have struggled with depression, their whole lives, without being medicated. Luther and Spurgeon are two that come to mind. I think we are too quick to look at suffering as a negative thing that must be stopped and avoided but Romans 5:3-4 says, “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope”. So to medicate the feelings that will produce hope is not wise in my opinion.

3. Physical depression=caused by our bodies not functioning properly and affecting our emotions. Our hormones, food intake, exercise frequency, vitamins, minerals, etc. play a huge part in regulating our moods. I was told twice in one year to take anti-depressants to stop feeling “crazy” rather than being told why I felt that way and how to fix it. So sad!! On one week of all my new supplements I feel normal again. My body was so depleted my ND said I probably wasn’t able to produce serotonin! My body was/is a mess and taking anti-depressants would have totally WORSENED things! My depression was a gift from God to motivate me to get tested before my health worsened and I became really sick! To have medicated my symptoms would have been disastrous. (Edited to add that since then I was diagnosed with hypothyroid and a tumor was found on my thyroid gland. Had I medicated the symptoms, I could be much sicker today!)

4. A true chemical imbalance= I think God created people with true inabilities to function normally without medication. I have known several and they still struggle with depression/anxiety even while medicated but the medication allows them to be sane-literally. I know one pastor family with a Bipolar daughter and without medication she is insane. But with it, she is normal and struggles and has to still rely on Christ for strength everyday.

So, these are my quick thoughts on the matter. I could probably write for pages but it’s already too long probably! Anyway, I agree with Paul, “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything.”

So…to me, it’s a conscience issue but I think some people make very foolish decisions in this area that cause them to ultimately trust in something other than God.